That's not a Camera!

Once Upon a time I had saved up just enough cash to buy myself a used digital camera. I purchased one off of Ebay and due to several mistakes on my part, it seemed like it was taking forever to get to me.

Finally the day had come, the holy day foretold by the UPS tracking feature on thier website. I was anxious and prepared - I stayed home to receive the package... I was stoked and jumpy...

To the right you will see e-mail I exchanged before during and after the package showed up. Below you will find pictures.

Enjoy the oddity that can be my life,


Excerpts from the
TR Sammis
to Funk
11:36am (4 hours ago)
damnit, where's that UPS truck with my camera!!!
I want my camera damnit!


SHould have gone to work knowing it would be here when I got home... but... I couldn't resist... must have camera... must fondle new technogadget...

must be calm...

So far I've gotten up to see two tractors, two trains and one pickup truck drive by...

deep breaths... deep breaths...

to Funk
11:37am (4 hours ago)
Poor bastard, i know the pain. =]

TR Sammis
to Funk
11:58am (4 hours ago)
I should have known.. I mean I really should have known...

The UPS truck arrived... didn't come in the drievway but I heard his door shut out on the road, or thought I did, so I was loking out the door whenI see the UPS guy walking down the driveway. YAY!
I meet him in the driveway and take possesion of my package and take it inside and gingerly cut it open...

Only fo find that the seller shipped me the WRONG ITEM!!!!
I now have a package intended for Someone Else that contains a very nice BREAST PUMP!!!

Must resist urge to kill.
Must calm down.
Must contact seller and politely ask why I got mailed someone elses breast pump instead of the camera I ordered...


to Funk
12:01pm (4 hours ago)
Not to sound mean or anything, but that is the fucking funniest thing i have heard in a long long long time. I have heard of screwed up orders, but a freaking breast pump.

Can't stop lafing.

Make sure you get some good use out of that sucker before you send it back. Just realized i called it a sucker.

lafing harder.

Really i do feel sorry for you, even shedding a tear or two...

to Funk
12:05pm (4 hours ago)
You are getting all sorts of sympathy from the rest of the staff here at Harris; however, like me, they are laughing through their tears.

This kind of thing needs to go into a blog for all posterity.

T.R. Sammis
to Funk
12:08pm (4 hours ago)
Oh yeah I had to laugh too...
Opening the box I was thinking "wow I thoughtit came with a case, but that'sa nice big leather camera case! One of the flaps was open and I yanked a power converter out... which was my first puzzlement - should have been a battery charger. Then I open the flap on the front and see "Pump in style" and I'm thinkin "well a breast pump bag could work as a camera bag I suppose...". Then I try opening the top, except it;s not a camera bag and doesn't really have a top to open though there's an access panel to the pump... then I'm very confused and read the packing split and my eyes roll back and fire flares from my nostrils and the cats run screeching for cover at the sound of my bellowed profanity.

In retrospect I will look back on tihs and laugh. Really.

`Hahaha. Mine is an evil laugh'

T.R. Sammis
to Funk
12:09pm (4 hours ago)
I'm wondeirng how bad the seller ill go to try and get me to give him positive feedback instead of ruining his 100% rating...
Am thinking up suitable demands at this very moment.
to Funk
12:16pm (3½ hours ago)
Try a camera and a free breast pump...

T.R. Sammis
to Funk
12:19pm (3½ hours ago)
I'm just wondering how the person who ordered teh breast pump feels...

"I can't milk my tit with this!"

Even better,I have to go to work now...
Secure in teh knowledge I won't get my camera for... who knows how long.

Ain't life just grand sometimes?

to Funk
12:23pm (3½ hours ago)
yes it is, as grand as what a denny's grand slam can do to your digestive tract.

If she triest to milk her tit with the camera i am sure some
interesting picts will come from it. Crazies would pay good money to see them online.

Brian Huntley
to Funk
12:23pm (3½ hours ago)
Sorry it took me so long to respond to this, having trouble......
stopping from laughing. Sorry dude, but that is too damn funny, you have to admit.

I didn't figure you would get the package until around noon anyway. But then for it to be the wrong package, that had to suck and I could see some anger and profanity flying, but what was in there instead, sorry I'm gonna start up again.... he said sucker.....

Dammit, shouldn't have read that again, now I'm crying from laughter, hard to type when you can't see.

OK composure regained again ;)

I'd be interested to see what the seller has to say on that one,
please keep us informed. Sorry you didn't get your camera yet, but you made our day for a bit funnier ;)

Not to brag, but my Firefly DVD's were sitting in the mailbox
yesterday when I got home.

Hope you can get this resolved soon, and maybe the seller will
expedite the correct shipment to you, once he gets it back from the lady more than likely as confused and who is trying to use it as a breast pump.


to Funk
3:33pm (36 minutes ago)
oh tr.
this could only happen to you.
enjoy fondling your spanking new breast pump. hey, it's still a
technogadget. technically speaking.
*giggles too much to handle*
ok. i can breathe again. can't wait to tell ambr.
oh lord.
hey, you know.....joel is mighty handy with cameras, and turning strange things into cameras......perhaps your breast pump is destined to be a camera! perhaps tink can make it so.
just think of pointing and clicking a breast pump.....
while you're saying "CHEESE!"
oh.....god...........i have to stop......................

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive and it is only by this meeting a new world is born."
*Anais Nin*

to Funk
3:39pm (30 minutes ago)
OH dear lord!!! =]

I am sure that i could manage to turn it into a camera. It might even be fun.

TR Sammis
to Funk
3:52pm (17 minutes ago)
On Thu, 15 Jul 2004 15:33:32 -0500, jo <> wrote:
> oh tr.
> this could only happen to you.


> enjoy fondling your spanking new breast pump. hey,
> it's still a technogadget. technically speaking.

You know...I actually did fondle the pump itself. The bag has an access hatch to get to the pump and I had opened it just enough to stick my hand in and pull out what I was still hoping would be a camera... let me tell you, what I felt was NO Camera.

> *giggles too much to handle*

Well there was a metal shaft...
but I didn't feel around much more after that.

I will be posting pictures in a while I hope, Ryan should be getting them off teh work camera and to me soon. You may be dissapointed in the pump itself as it pretty much just looks liek a big leather bag...
Too bad the punmp itself doesn't have all the hardware or I'd be temepted to take a nasty picture trying to extract milk from my own man-boobies... yes I would stoop that low - this whole situation is goofy enough that I would have to.

Oh and in news from the seller, UPS said the camera hasn't been delivered in Kansas City yet, so it should just be re-routed to me. So it won't be mistakenly used for milking purposes... which is nice to know from one point of view, but kind of puts a buzzkill on some of the siliness...

oop got the pics, need to resize them and make a web page...
I may be silent for a half hour or more!

after that, expect wierdness...


to Funk
4:06pm (3 minutes ago)
Yeah for wierdness, make sure that it is good and funky.

Here's the box!

The Open Box - nice packaging!

I thought it came witha carrying case...

Nice enough looking camera bag!

Bag with it's flap pulled back

The first compartment I opened

The second and most bizzare compartment I opened

I was finally beginning to understand when I opened the top

Here's a shot of the manual



< Back to Things